Tag Archives: DBagoftheDay

No title, no point, no purpose

The only subversive mind is the one which questions the obligation to exist; all the others, the anarchist at the head of the list, compromise with the established order.
EM Cioran, The New Gods, Strangled Thoughts

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Ooh, those zany French. Always good for a chuckle.

But what you talkin’ ’bout, EM?

Here’s my take: If you had six months left to live, information utterly irrefutable and delivered from an unimpeachable source, would you:

  • Floss your teeth?
  • Balance your checkbook?
  • Do the Mencken? As in, “Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

Answers: No – No – And, hell yes.

I’m attemptin’ to write a serious essay™ and so far except for that Cioran quote it could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.  I knew I was a bad writer. I just never grasped how truly awful and banal I am, to the n-th degree.

So I’ve gone back to drinking. But only for a few days. Fortunately being an amateur, I know that “If something is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.” [Who the Eff said that? No idea.] So at some point the booze gets put down and another badly written load of twaddle will without doubt be excreted into an utterly uncaring world.

And, check this out…How big a collection of douchebags are the people who run Annheuser-Busch? Rhetorical question, since the answer is, of course, a gi-normous matched set, suitable for framing. What is messing with my head, though, is why they had to buy out Rolling Rock. Rolling Rock beer, manf’d. by the “Latrobe Brewing Co., St. Louis, MO.” WTF?  You don’t pull things like that on someone who knows Latrobe, PA for (a)Arnold Palmer (b) Rolling Rock beer and knows than (c) an “Arnold Palmer” is a drink of half iced tea, half lemonade.

Jesus wept. And Rolling Rock died. But I still love you all, anyways. Even if you are an Annheuser-Busch running douchebag.

Edit to add:In case it was not sufficiently obvious from the post, I’m drunk. I had an ancestor who’s death certificate listed the cause of death as a “diseased liver.” Why mention that? Dunno. I guess there’s worse ways to go?

 

 

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Today’s D-Bag of the Day Award Goes To….

anyone who thinks having this bumper sticker makes you into some kind of fight the power/RATM/o so hip hipster…
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Congratulations! I hereby award you my coveted D-Bag of the Day Award.

I mean if the Goldstein of Orwell’s 1984 is not modeled on psychotic mass-murderer Leon Trotsky I’ll eat my dirty underwear, with ketchup on the side. You might as well have the word “moron” tattooed on your forehead as put this on the back of your car.

But I did come up with an alternative….
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Now to have a bumper sticker like that on your car? We’re talking a matched set of brass ball-bearings, if you get my drift. Especially if the happy face gets included.

And I seriously doubt anyone who “gets” the reference would mess with you. I’m sure somewhere in this shining Republic of ours there’s a Room 101 for anyone who would, shall we say, take issue with said (revised) bumper sticker.

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