Book Review: Blue Bloods, by Melissa de la Cruz

Blue Bloods (Blue Bloods, #1)Blue Bloods by Melissa de la Cruz
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

An amusing diversion, and one that seems so determined to take itself seriously that that becomes part of the amusement. But, eh, give it a pass. So what if history is garbled beyond all recognition or even the remotest relationship to fact? So what if goofiness, implausibility and downright silliness run amuck? Stuff that had me chuckling:

>>> How the heck did Miles Standish supposedly get from Plymouth to North Carolina again? Hop on the shuttle from Logan (or would TF Green be closer?) to Charlotte and then used frequent flyer miles to rent a BMW for the long drive following? Makes as much sense as as other possible explanation…none of which were forthcoming from the author

>>> Oh, and the above only applies if you somehow ignore the fact that the Mayflower sailed in 1620, and the Roanoake colony was gone by 1610 at the latest. And probably quite a bit before that. And that, in any event, both Spanish and English expeditions came across the remains of the colony before 1620. (And this ain’t rocket science, people. Sheesh.)

>>> 400? 400 what? IF the Roanoake colony was all or mostly all ‘blue bloods,’ and IF they disappeared as a result of getting snacked upon by ‘silver bloods,’ that would knock somewhere between 50 and maybe as many as 100 off of the Blue Blood roll call. Forever. And this says nothing about how many possibly died in Plymouth Plantation itself as a result of possible Silver Blood fun ‘n games. Oh, and did they have a ‘war’ with the ‘silver-bloods’ during the reign of Caligula where no blue-bloods got sucked dry? So, just how many are there as the story opens? Can’t see how it totes to anywhere near 400, personally.

>>> Archangel Gabrielle? ROFL. ‘Nuff said there.

>> I wonder what ol’ Cordelia would’ve thought of her (semi-, sorta-, etc.) 15 y/o granddaughter prancing around topless in a simulated bit of hot chick on chick action? Or that it would appear ten times bigger than life on a billboard in Times Square? All those pontifications about how ‘pure’ blue-bloods are supposed to be contra those naughty ‘red-bloods.’ Message received by Schuyler? I think not. In fact, nobody seems to be bothered by that whole bit at all. Not even the senator who’s daughter was up their for the whole world to gawk at. (Think it would help his re-election bid? In this day and age, who can say?) Ranges from tawdry to downright oogie from where I’m sittin’. But I guess, eh, I don’t even care to guess any more. But I gotta think the author didn’t think things through quite enough here.

>>> How in tarnation did Dylan wind up at that school if he had ‘no interest’ in doing the blue-blood thing? And, I’m actually kinda mystified about how one generation becomes the next anyways. Were or were not Dylan’s parents ‘blue-bloods?’ I guess they’d have to be? Had they also actively shunned blue blood life, too?

I could go on, but, nah. And despite the author’s obvious challenges with reconciling history, geography, simple arithmetic and age of consent laws, the hell with it. It is a silly book. And for whatever reason still kind of a compelling read. Even if I say that being able to offer no reason why I say that.

PS: Oliver Hazard Perry? Master Renfield? Not certain whether to be amused, confused or to simply roll my eyes at the tedium of it all.

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